A pattern is beginning to emerge- as soon as I post and take a breath, I discover something else I desperately need to write about.
Where Debauchette is concerned, I feel nothing short of hero worship. I’m not afraid to admit that she was my inspiration to really start cataloguing my (usually) fulfilling sexual explorations, and so when I saw a post that really struck a nerve with me I had to draw your attention to it.
In “dirty talk,” Debauchette describes a scenario that gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling. It’s exactly what I crave, and the only way I know of to get my “storytelling” fix. Sadly, most men won’t tolerate that sort of sluttery.. and as she describes, often enough even the ones that will.. won’t.
One of those nights, I opened my laptop and found Gabriel online some seven time zones away. “So how many cocks have you sucked?” he asked.
Gabriel and I have been doing this tango. He loves my slutty impulses, but I constantly question whether I should act on them, even with his support. I’ve run into this problem in the past.
I had a boyfriend with similar tastes a couple of years ago, someone I saw while I slept with clients. I never told him that I was a prostitute, but I did tell him that I was sleeping with other men. And while it wasn’t the deepest relationship, it worked beautifully for the time that it lasted. It worked for him because he was emotionally unavailable, and it worked for me because my clients left me emotionally exhausted. And it worked because he never asked too many questions about how I spent my evenings. Except for the sex.
We developed a strange routine. He’d come over to my apartment late at night, when I’d be in the middle of doing something quiet, like reading. A little drunk and a little coked up, he’d strip out of his clothes and pull out his cock. And then he’d ask questions about the sex I was having with other men, and I’d answer him slowly, meting out details while he jerked off to the sound of my voice. He’d ask how many men, how often, what I did, what it felt like, whether I came.
What I have now works well for me, but.. to have a man that relishes my experiences as much as I do would be ab-so-lute-ly wonderful.
